The top 10 reasons why you may be afraid to lose weight

  • November 27, 2016

fear-617132_1280I’ve been heavy 98% of my life. Now if this was a quiz or my odds of winning the lotto I’d be in great shape but it’s not.  It’s a significant portion of time spent struggling.  It wasn’t until I had lost some weight, about 100 pounds, that I realized how much I had been struggling.  I just took for granted that I’d have to purchase 2 airline seats for the rest of my life or that I’d need a CPAP machine to keep from dying in my sleep.  What was facing me was a life of disability and just not living the life that I deserved.  However, I didn’t know what I deserved because I always put other people’s needs above my own.  It didn’t matter that I was hurting emotionally because nobody wanted to hear it.  I was dismissed, ignored, treated like a leper, and shuttled to the back of many closets where people put their old coats and the shoes they can’t wear anymore.  Again, I didn’t fully process those feelings of being minimized until recently.   The other thing I didn’t realize was that when the weight began to come off the fears became more intense.  Now, you’d think I’d be more afraid as a heavier person wondering what others thought of me or were they making fun of me when they’re giggling with their friends?  Is that check out person going to ignore me again like I’m invisible? Interestingly, though, when the weight started to come off weird things began to happen.  People started paying attention to me; men opened doors for me when before they’d rush ahead of me and swing the door to hit me in the face.  Nice, huh?  Read on to find out why I and possibly many of you are afraid to lose weight.


I’m dancing as fast as I can


As a psychiatrist, I had to categorize my feelings and it wasn’t pretty. I may lack 3 molars, a Mercedes, and a mansion but I have never lacked insight.  What did my reflective moments tell me?  I figured out that I had a fear of losing weight.  Really?  Yes.  The next question was what was I afraid of specifically.  Again, I sat down and took stock and came up with the following 10 reasons why I and perhaps many people reading this may be afraid to lose weight.  We can lie to ourselves and say well I don’t have the time, motivation, money, or the pressing need to lose weight right now.  You may tell yourself that you’re healthy because your blood pressure is normal, your knees don’t hurt, and your blood sugar is in the normal range.  I thought the same way up until year before I couldn’t walk 5 feet from my bedroom to the bathroom without being out of breath.  The signs were there long before but I set them aside until I couldn’t any longer.  After my bariatric surgery, though, all should have been right with the world, right?  No, it was not.

Wanted: Brain transplant surgeon, good pay, flexible hours


I noted that the weight came off but I couldn’t escape my brain.  Systematically I began to peel back the layers of what I was so afraid of.  Here is the list that I identified from my own personal inventory and from conversations with other people who have lost weight. Keep in mind this hierarchy is my own design and not in any particular order; you may order them differently, some may not apply to you at all, or you may have others that are personal to you

  1.  I’m afraid I’ll succeed and I’m not ready for that
  2. My family and friends wouldn’t support me and I can’t do it on my own
  3. I’m in denial that my weight is a problem
  4. I don’t have the time or money to devote to a comprehensive program to get healthy
  5. I don’t think I deserve to be happier and healthier
  6. I won’t be able to maintain the weight loss and it will be another failure
  7. If I’m thinner people will sit next to me and try to talk to me
  8. When the weight comes off my spouse /significant other will leave me because he/she likes me heavy
  9. If I lose weight people who used to ignore me may invite me to social gatherings and I’m socially awkward
  10. If I lose weight the opposite sex may pay attention to me (Gasp!)

The first one is all mine. There were times when I’d hyperventilate thinking about being successful after bariatric surgery.  Why is it that those of us suffering from obesity encourage others to move forward and pursue their goals but we don’t do that for ourselves.  Every time I look at my previous self in photos I think “why would that woman think she could be anything in this life?’  The even bigger question though is why do I still feel that way 300 pounds later?  The upshot is that I and those of you struggling with similar issues need to think we deserve a better life.   Each day should be devoted to fortifying your self-esteem, surrounding yourself with positivity, feeling worthy of what life has in store for you.  Your story doesn’t have to end with a period or a question mark.  It can end with an exclamation point by taking control of your destiny now.    As we approach a new year, we promise ourselves that we’re going to do better.  That promise becomes more elusive year after year it seems.  It did for me until I stood up with the help of a friend and said I’m done.  Are you done?  Are you tired of being tired?  Give us a call today at 909-443-5191 or 1-844-MYLIFE-1 (1844-695-4331) and start making yourself the priority.

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